Saturday, March 12, 2005

The Truth Is Out There

When I awoke this morning I realized that my back was hurting. It was not the normal kind of morning stiffness, it was more of a twisting, shredding kind of pain. I immediately went downstairs to wake up my Mom. My Mom was a pediatric nurse and thus she possess a great store of healing knowledge; besides everyone goes to their mom when they hurt themselves.

As my Mom and I tried to arrive at the appropriate therapy for treating my back ache a number of theories were postulated as to why my back would be causing this much discomfort. We tried the usual suspects but they did not seem to fit the clues. I hadn't been lifting weights or doing any kind of physical conditioning this week. My Mom felt that the most logical explanation was that I strained something when I had been shoveling the day before. I rejected this hypothesis because I could not understand why the pain would lie dormant for three days and ambush me out of the blue.

My mother offered a few more scenarios but I began to have my own suspicions.

When I went to bed last night I felt fine. I was the picture of perfect health. I slept in my regular bed in my normal sleeping attire and my traditional sleeping position. By all accounts I should have had an uneventful nights sleep. So if there were no internal reasons for my back pain it must be the result of external forces.

Drawing By: Mike Posted by Hello

I surmise that I was taken from my room last night by beings from another planet. Only an advanced alien civilization would have the technology to remove me from my room with out my knowledge. They most likely employed some form of sophisticated tractor beam and anesthesia technology. That would explain both how they transported me and my lack of memories from the incident.

Drawing By Mike Posted by Hello

Unfortunately even Alien technology is not one hundred percent perfect. I believe that their tractor beam momentarily malfunctioned and I plummeted from the sky and injured my back when I landed on the ground. Thankfully the alien anesthesia did not fail and I have no memory of the incident.

Drawing By Mike Posted by Hello

This is the only scenario that I can come up with that fits all of the available facts; but if you think that you have an alternative please shoot me an email so that I can clear up this mess.


Blogger Pienthesky said...

I think the force messed with your back or something.

10:54 AM  

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