"Larry"
I decided to call this post "Larry" because it spans a number of days, and contains so many random events that I could not come up with a clever title to catch your attention. Without further ado I give you..."Larry!"
Last week was incredibly busy for me, it all began on Thursday with a huge job fair in Boston. Colleen and I both went down there to get teaching jobs. We drove to her parents house after I got out of work at Midnight the night before the conference. The next morning we were up with the sun and dressed to the nines ready to impress potential employers with our expensive suits and 20 bond resume paper.
Drawing By Mike
So far neither one of us has gotten a job. But we were successful in "getting our names out there." I suppose that we also managed to put a little face time in with potential employers, which is never a bad idea. We left the job fair around noon and spent the rest of the day in Boston. This is where we had our first adventure of the day.
Upon exiting my car I noticed that the brake lights were still lit. The car was in park, the keys were in my hand, and there were no disembodied feet resting on the brake pedal. Clearly something was wrong. I tried moving the car, moving the pedals, swearing, calling my Dad...eventually it became apparent that the only way that I was going to be able to keep my battery from dying was to climb under my dashboard and use my trusty leatherman tool to yank the fuse out of the fuse panel.
Drawing By Mike
If I was going to attempt this dangerous maneuver steeped in Macgyverosity, I had to change out of my suit first. Luckily I had a change of clothes in the car, so I quickly stripped in the garage and slipped in to my jeans and tee shirt. Using my Leatherman I successfully defused the car. Colleen and I spent the rest of that gorgeous afternoon in Boston walking from one end of the city to the other, we also had dinner with one of Colleen's friends.
Suffice it to say that we were both dog tired the next morning. But that didn't stop us from having an amazing time at Colleen's College Formal. For those of you who do not know a College Formal is essentially the same thing as the High School Prom. Just think College Prom its easier. We both had a blast but the DJ was pretty lame...and dangerous.
Drawing By Mike
At one point in the evening as Colleen and I a talking to friends I see this great big fire ball shoot into the air. It originated from the area of the DJ booth and I instantly had a Great White flashback. There were roughly four hundred people on the dance floor and this lame DJ is tempting fate by lighting things on fire. Personally I feel that the least he could have done was queue up Once Bitten Twice Shy. That way if something goes wrong and I should perish in a fiery holocaust at least my friends will be able to appreciate the irony of the situation at my funeral.
The other day I had to go all the way out to East Windsor to buy a lawn mower blade from the John Deer hayseeds. I felt like Hank Hill surrounded by lawnmowers and John Deer merchandise, and I freely admit that I said "YEP" a lot. I also bought a lawnmower blade that did not fit my lawnmower, so I had to use the old crummy blade to cut the lawn. I could mow two strips and then I had to stop and empty the bag.
Drawing By Mike
This entire process was made unbearable by the fact that iTunes had failed me miserably. You see the night before I was at work and I was listening to a sample track from one of Henry Rollins' spoken word albums entitled "Eric the Pilot." I thought that the material was funny and I decided to log onto iTunes and purchase the CD so that I could listen to it while mowing the lawn.
Drawing By Mike
Sadly I was unable to listen to Henry's awesome aviation adventure in a single engine Cessna with a pilot named Eric because iTunes offers a very limited selection of Mr. Rollins work. Instead I listened to Black Flag...which was not quite what I wanted but it helped a little bit.
My day ended with a phone call from my friend Meghan who had apparently contracted some kind of flesh eating virus on her hand. That means a virus was eating her flesh. She was able to get the appropriate medicine to stop the virus and save her hand. I have decided to immortalize her near tragedy by placing a drawing of the wound on my blog.
Drawing By Mike
Take that posterity.
Last week was incredibly busy for me, it all began on Thursday with a huge job fair in Boston. Colleen and I both went down there to get teaching jobs. We drove to her parents house after I got out of work at Midnight the night before the conference. The next morning we were up with the sun and dressed to the nines ready to impress potential employers with our expensive suits and 20 bond resume paper.
Drawing By Mike
So far neither one of us has gotten a job. But we were successful in "getting our names out there." I suppose that we also managed to put a little face time in with potential employers, which is never a bad idea. We left the job fair around noon and spent the rest of the day in Boston. This is where we had our first adventure of the day.
Upon exiting my car I noticed that the brake lights were still lit. The car was in park, the keys were in my hand, and there were no disembodied feet resting on the brake pedal. Clearly something was wrong. I tried moving the car, moving the pedals, swearing, calling my Dad...eventually it became apparent that the only way that I was going to be able to keep my battery from dying was to climb under my dashboard and use my trusty leatherman tool to yank the fuse out of the fuse panel.
Drawing By Mike
If I was going to attempt this dangerous maneuver steeped in Macgyverosity, I had to change out of my suit first. Luckily I had a change of clothes in the car, so I quickly stripped in the garage and slipped in to my jeans and tee shirt. Using my Leatherman I successfully defused the car. Colleen and I spent the rest of that gorgeous afternoon in Boston walking from one end of the city to the other, we also had dinner with one of Colleen's friends.
Suffice it to say that we were both dog tired the next morning. But that didn't stop us from having an amazing time at Colleen's College Formal. For those of you who do not know a College Formal is essentially the same thing as the High School Prom. Just think College Prom its easier. We both had a blast but the DJ was pretty lame...and dangerous.
Drawing By Mike
At one point in the evening as Colleen and I a talking to friends I see this great big fire ball shoot into the air. It originated from the area of the DJ booth and I instantly had a Great White flashback. There were roughly four hundred people on the dance floor and this lame DJ is tempting fate by lighting things on fire. Personally I feel that the least he could have done was queue up Once Bitten Twice Shy. That way if something goes wrong and I should perish in a fiery holocaust at least my friends will be able to appreciate the irony of the situation at my funeral.
The other day I had to go all the way out to East Windsor to buy a lawn mower blade from the John Deer hayseeds. I felt like Hank Hill surrounded by lawnmowers and John Deer merchandise, and I freely admit that I said "YEP" a lot. I also bought a lawnmower blade that did not fit my lawnmower, so I had to use the old crummy blade to cut the lawn. I could mow two strips and then I had to stop and empty the bag.
Drawing By Mike
This entire process was made unbearable by the fact that iTunes had failed me miserably. You see the night before I was at work and I was listening to a sample track from one of Henry Rollins' spoken word albums entitled "Eric the Pilot." I thought that the material was funny and I decided to log onto iTunes and purchase the CD so that I could listen to it while mowing the lawn.
Drawing By Mike
Sadly I was unable to listen to Henry's awesome aviation adventure in a single engine Cessna with a pilot named Eric because iTunes offers a very limited selection of Mr. Rollins work. Instead I listened to Black Flag...which was not quite what I wanted but it helped a little bit.
My day ended with a phone call from my friend Meghan who had apparently contracted some kind of flesh eating virus on her hand. That means a virus was eating her flesh. She was able to get the appropriate medicine to stop the virus and save her hand. I have decided to immortalize her near tragedy by placing a drawing of the wound on my blog.
Drawing By Mike
Take that posterity.
posted by TheDarkLordDerfla at 7:14 PM
2 Comments:
Flesh eating virus!
That's all.
I'm very impressed that you managed to get all your key points (laid out in the previous post) into one post. Good work.
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